I have been looking for a job for almost 2 months now. For one reason or another I haven't had the success I was originally hoping for. Last month I was selected for a position with a local Boys & Girls Club, but I turned it down because the hours would be challenging and I needed to be making higher pay. Since then, I have applied for multiple jobs and have only had 1 unsuccessful interview. I am trying to be receptive to God's voice and figure out whether or not I should be working. I know that I want a job and Ronnie wants me to have a job, but is that what God wants for me? As Beth Moore would say, "Is this a 'good' idea or a 'God' idea?" I am trying to discern where He wants me to invest my time as I continue to apply and hope for a job to come along.
Part of me wonders whether or not we are ready to continue Foster Care. My heart has really felt drawn to that path again. I feel renewed, restored and ready to open my heart and home again to children. But I want to make sure both Ronnie and I are truly ready before we decide to make that commitment again. His large workload and school needs have to come first, so we need to ensure that fostering does not completely detract from that.
Fertility still weighs heavily on our hearts as well. We know that we have been given a wonderful opportunity by being selected into the Military Reproductive Assistance Program. But when it comes to a human life, we struggle with finding the balance between creating the perfect environment inside my body for life to develop and forcing life by taking matters into our own hands. The next step in treatment would be another IUI. While now is as good a time as any, we want to make sure that we are both prepared emotionally for whatever happens.
As you can see, we are at a Crossroads. I think the hardest part is sitting and waiting on the Lord to point us in one clear direction. I hold onto the words from my favorite praise and worship song which says, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. Our God, you reign forever. Our hope, our strong deliverer. You are the everlasting God, you do not faint, you won't grow weary. You're the defender of the weak, you comfort those in need, you lift us up on wings like eagles." So encouraging. Thank you all for your prayers as we navigate our way through confusion and try to figure out what the next step should be for our family.
-Heather
