Adopted by God

I found this on another blog and wanted to share it with you all. Please remember that we are ALL adopted into God's Family.

-Heather

The Call

Well, it's official! We are Licensed Foster-Adoptive Parents! Hooray! This past week has been a roller coaster of emotions as we have been preparing for licensure. The ups and downs continued today as we finally received our first call for an emergency placement. My phone rang, I saw that it was our Foster Care Agency, and my heart started pounding; I knew that they were calling us for a placement. As expected, on the the other line I heard the statement, "Are you sitting down? We might have a placement for you! What would you think about taking in a 3-day-old baby boy?" Naturally I cried, "Yes!" Luckily Ronnie and I had sat down a few days prior and discussed what we were willing to say "yes" to so that we could speak for one another if necessary. So she gave me a little more information about the baby, encouraged me to get a hold of a carseat, and told me she was going to go submit our Home Study immediately. After I got off the phone with her I burst into tears. I couldn't believe the flood of emotions that came over me at that moment. I instantly began imagining our lives with this little wonder and my heart began to expand like never before. As it just so happens, my current go-to song was playing right at that very moment ("Like An Avalanche" by Hillsong United), I was in one of the kiddo's rooms preparing to fold newborn boy baby clothes given to me by my sister, and I couldn't believe the blessing that was about to come into our lives in a matter of hours. I knelt down, tears streaming down my face, and just worshipped. I praised God for this baby and thanked him for where our journey was taking us. Ronnie was due home any second, so I went outside and waited for him on the porch to deliver the good news as quickly as possible. Then the phone rang. It was the agency. Another couple had responded a few minutes quicker than we did. The baby was being placed with another family. He wasn't coming to our home. And just like that it was over. I was assured that another placement would come, possibly even tomorrow. But at that point, sorrow had already begun to fill my soul. Ronnie arrived home just as I was getting off the phone with our agency and I attempted to tell him what had just happened in the last 5 minutes of my life. He comforted me and assured me that the right kiddos will come at the right time. And in my head I know that. My heart, however, takes a bit more convincing. I don't know if it's a maternal thing, but I felt an instant connection to this child that I will never meet. Just hearing his name and knowing I may get to be his mother, even if only for a short time, filled me with more joy than I can express. Then hearing that we were too late was a pretty big blow. My emotions since that last call have been all over the place. I tried to explain it to Ronnie the only way I knew how, which makes this situation a bit more painful due to years of infertility. I told him that it felt like I got a call from my doctor telling me that he received my blood work and it shows that I am pregnant and will finally receive the long-awaited desire of my heart, only to get another call a few minutes later with him telling me that he accidently read the wrong record, and it turns out someone else is pregnant and will be receiving that blessing I've always dreamed about, sorry, better luck next time. I know that's a strange perspective, but that's how it feels. Just very raw and very real. I'm sure this journey will continue to be a roller coaster of emotions I've never experienced before, but I know that I'm up for the ride of a lifetime. And luckily I have the best husband a girl could ask for. Tonight Ronnie held me and comforted me and let me have it out, which is what I needed. Who knows, tomorrow we might be parents. But tonight, it's just us, and I'm trying to be okay with that. Lord, please continue to remind me that your plan is perfect and that you are in control. And more than anything, help me to realize that it's not about me and what I want! It's all about you and your precious children and what they need. You know what sweet little souls are supposed to be with us. Please help us to wait patiently until you bring them "home."

On the Road to Recovery...

Hello world! I want to thank you all for your prayers and well-wishes as I recover from surgery. It was performed this past Monday at Wilford Hall which is located on Lackland AFB across town. Ronnie and I arrived at 5:00 am and waited until the clinic opened at 5:15. I was registered and placed in a room right away, and Ronnie got to wait with me before I was wheeled back to the "holding arena" at about 6:15. I was sitting there alone in semi-darkness, staring head-on at another patient who was waiting for surgery, having nothing to do but wait. The traffic began to pick up after a while and I was visited by a team of people who were prepping me for surgery. The IV was successful after 2 tries and before I knew it, I hadn't a care in the world after a visit from my Anesthesiologist:) I was wheeled back to the Operating Room, greeted by my surgeon, and that's the last thing I remember. As I slowly came to after surgery, I remember being wheeled back to my recovery room, getting my vital signs, and doing some more sleeping. Before I knew it, Ronnie was by my side and I began to wake up. I had some applesauce, saltines, water and meds. My fertility specialist came into my room to give me the prognosis of my surgery. It turns out that there were no traces of Endometriosis whatsoever! Praise God! They did find some tissue in my Uterus that needed to be taken care of, so they went ahead and performed a D&C. He also found a cyst in my left ovary, so they drained that as well. So all in all, my surgery consisted of a Laparoscopy, a Hysteroscopy, a D&C, an HSG, and a Cyst Aspiration. Just glad I was asleep for all of that:) After a couple of hours I was dressed, in the car, and on my way home. When we got back, Ronnie helped me up to our room and I slept on and off for the rest of the day. Since then I have been resting and trying to get as much sleep as possible, which has been wonderful. I had one big outing to Walgreens yesterday, so that was the peak of my excitement this week. Ronnie has been doing all he can to ensure that I am comfortable and healing well... so thankful for him:) I haven't had to take any more anti-nausea pills, so I am solely on Motrin, which is great. I am still dealing with pain and fatigue, but that is to be expected. Compared to my ear surgery back in October, to help correct Otosclerosis in my left ear, this recovery has been 100 times better. Before my surgery, I prayed that my recovery would be fast and pleasant (well, as pleasant as possible:). I am so thankful that this prayer has been answered and I am on the road to healing. I am hoping that I will feel well enough to take foster kids by early next week, but I'm not planning on jumping the gun. I am giving myself time to heal and I know we will get our kiddos when the time is right. Thank you again to all of you who have partnered with us in prayer, whether for Foster Care or for my surgery. We are thankful to have you all on our team:)

-Heather

Tomorrow

Hello everyone. I want to thank you for all of your prayers during these last few days. I definitely felt constantly surrounded in prayer and I took all of your comments to heart. After much consideration, discussion, and prayer, I have decided to go ahead with our original plan and get surgery tomorrow. I know that as much as I want to help foster children, I can only be a good mom after I take care of myself first. So tomorrow morning, at 4:15 am, we leave for the hospital at Lackland AFB. I have to be there by 5:15 and my surgery is scheduled for 7:30. I should be in recovery anywhere between 9-11 am, depending on what they find and how long the surgery ends up taking. I appreciate your continued prayers and I will update you all in the next few days to let you know the diagnosis (or lack-of) post-surgery. Ronnie will be by my side tomorrow, so please feel free to contact him if you want a quick update. Thank you again for your prayers and for investing in Ronnie and me. We truly are blessed to have so many family members and friends who love and support us:)

-Heather