Friday, December 2, 2011

Open for Business

God's timing amazes me. When Ronnie and I decided to take a break from fostering to spend time strengthening our marriage and our home, I felt a slight sense of guilt when I would reject a possible placement. I felt sick about the fact that we were a licensed foster family, there were hundreds of children in our local area who needed a home, and yet we were choosing to say "no." There was always a temptation to give in and accept children into our home, regardless of the fact that the Holy Spirit was putting it on both of our hearts to "be still and wait upon the Lord." As we have been praying about when to open our home again, Ronnie and I felt like God was telling us that we were ready again. I am starting a new job, but with Ronnie doing Clinicals and having a subsequent Christmas break, he is going to have a lot of quality time to spend with the child (or children) that we take in. After we decided that we were once again ready to open our hearts and our home to God's children, we called our agency and informed them that we would like to change our status to "active." We gave our Case Manager very specific stipulations about what kind of placement we were willing to take: only one baby at a time, boy or girl, any race, under age 1. Oh, and of course, if J and B (our first foster children) happened to come back into the system we would take them in a heartbeat, even though we were assured that it wasn't a very likely scenario. That was last week.

This past week started like any other Monday morning. Little did I know that our lives were about to change dramatically by Monday afternoon. And little did I know that Ronnie was up early, having his devotional time, journaling about his desire to fill our home with children. I had decided to spend Sunday cleaning the house, having everything ready and prepared in case we got a call the next day. Looking back now, I think the Holy Spirit was preparing me for what was about to happen. Around early afternoon on Monday I received a call from our agency with one of their family consultants thanking us for changing our status back to active and asking me about our previous foster placements. I told him about our only 2 placements, wondering why he needed this background information before he referred us for another placement. What he said next still gives me chills. "Well, it looks like your first foster kids, J and B, are coming back into the system. Is there any chance you would be willing to-" "YES!" I cried before he could even finish. I couldn't believe what he was telling me; this was a scenario Ronnie and I had discussed frequently, but hoped for only in our dreams. He told us he would submit us and see what happened. I got a call back 5 minutes later with 3 simple words: "You got 'em." That was all I needed to hear:) I was already beside myself and couldn't help but cry out to God with prayers of pure jubilation and thanksgiving. I called Ronnie and told him we were getting the best Christmas present ever, J and B back in our arms. He later told me that he expected a placement and kept his phone close by all day, waiting for that call. We found out that the children would be placed with us later that afternoon, just hours away, so I had very little time to prepare. Luckily, we still had most of their clothes and a supply of diapers, so all I had to do was run to the grocery store. Ronnie was already home from work when I got back. We held each other so tightly, hardly believing what was about to happen. Then they arrived. As soon as I saw their sweet little faces in the window, I couldn't contain my tears. They both smiled, came up to us and hugged us, as if 6 months hadn't changed a thing. Finally, our babies were home:)

This past week has been a bit of a whirlwind. Neither Ronnie or I have gotten much sleep as we adjust to a new schedule. We are trying to figure out how to balance both of our jobs, the needs of the children, and the late nights holding them until they are done crying. There have been tears of joy, but mainly of sadness and confusion. I can't begin to imagine what these kiddos are going through; it must be so incredibly confusing to be taken in and out of various homes, back and forth between family and state care. It saddens me to think about what these children have been exposed to and accustomed to over the past 6 months. All I know is that everything we established when they were in our home previously now needs to be reintroduced. We understand that this next month is going to be filled with many obstacles, but we are definitely up for the challenge. As always, we appreciate your prayers during this time of transition, both for us and for the children. We are sad that these children are victims of a dysfunctional family and broken system, but so thankful that for the time being, they are safe and sound in our home. It is amazing to look back and see how God orchestrated this entire situation. What are the odds that these kiddos would be coming back into the system the exact week that we opened our home back up to fostering? Not good, I can tell you that much. Luckily, we have Jesus on our side, and He defies all odds. Lord, we praise you for your goodness and thank you that your plan is ALWAYS better than our own.