Too much. That is how I'm feeling right now. Too much is happening all at once and I don't know how much more I can reasonably take. I have come to a place where I am questioning my decisions and weighing all of my options. It seems that I am coming up short in almost every area of my life. I can't give everything I need to give to my foster children, to my husband, to my job, to my students, to my staff, to my friends, to my family and to my church. I know we are not designed to give everything we have to just one area of our lives, but I always feel as though what I am able to give is not quite enough. Whether I am behind in my foster parent documentation, still trying to finish lesson plans to send to my supervisor, forgetting to RSVP to an important event, late to worship because of work, finding time to run to the store for milk,
missing important time with my kiddos, neglecting quality time with my husband, never calling my far-away family, dealing with unhappy customers, trying to pay off endless debt, mourning the continual pain of my barrenness, not prioritizing my quiet time with God, never updating my blog... In my life, and I'm guessing in many of yours as well, this list could go on and on and on. It seems like the challenges in life are nothing less than overwhelming. So where is the breaking point? When do I finally choose to stand up and yell, "ENOUGH!"? I don't know the answer to that question. But I do know that my concerns are God's concerns. He created me in His image and he knows me better than I know myself. I now realize that he, too, made that same "ENOUGH!" declaration that I so desperately want to cry out. It was while his son, Jesus, was hanging on a cross, bruised, bleeding and broken, dying for the sins of the past, present and future, proclaiming that, finally, "It is finished." Take heart, friends... He has already overcome the world. This world. This crazy, unsettled world.
Lord, teach me to value the things in life worth valuing. Help me to prioritize my time and focus only on things that truly matter and that are lasting. Provide clarity on my giftings and calling in life. Give me courage to say "ENOUGH!" when the time comes. Never let me forget about the ultimate sacrifice that you made on my behalf. Thank you for loving me in the midst of my trials, and thank you for carrying me through it all.
