The Heart of the Matter

About a month ago we had our 28 week growth scan with our OB. Ronnie came with me, as usual, and my mom and sister joined us as well since they were in town for my baby shower. I was so happy to have them all there with me and the appointment went well overall. The doctor was measuring each baby and then she decided to do an echocardiogram to closely observe each baby's heart. She was taking quite a while looking at Baby A's heart and I was starting to wonder if there was something going on. She finally told us that it looked like there was a small hole in his heart. She pointed it out on the ultrasound and spoke to us about it very matter-of-factly as if it was something commonplace. I was trying to watch and listen, but inside I was falling apart, wondering if there was something terribly wrong with my sweet baby boy. She wanted a second opinion to either confirm or deny her findings, so she referred us to a pediatric cardiologist. I left the appointment trying to hold myself together. Ronnie had to leave right away to get to work, so we didn't get to debrief about what we had just experienced. I was left alone with my mom and sister who were trying to reassure me that everything was going to be fine. I tried to hold back my tears and face the rest of the weekend, which was to include my baby shower... a joyous event that I had been looking forward to ever since I learned I was pregnant. In hindsight, I am thankful that I had Mom and Holly there with me so that I wouldn't have to drive home alone, worried and fearful with no one to talk to. They were very supportive and talked me through my concerns. When Ronnie got back to work he sent me a simple text that said, "A bruised REED He will not break..." (Isaiah 42:3). You see, we had already decided to name Baby A "Reed," so that Bible verse spoke to the fragility of our situation perfectly. I believe more than ever that God chose this name specifically for this baby and I believe that He has a great plan for Reed's life. At my baby shower, Melissa Hostetler said a special prayer over the babies and specifically over Reed's heart. I know that many people have been praying for his complete healing and I am so thankful for all of the support and words of encouragement we have received since we shared our news.

After a month of anticipation, today we finally had our appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist. He performed a fetal echocardiogram on Reed and spent an hour looking intricately at all the different parts of his heart. As we wrapped up the appointment, the doctor spent a long time just sitting and talking with us about the heart. He was so thorough in his explanation and I was so thankful that someone was taking the time to explain things to me on my level. He said that after looking at all different angles of the heart, the scan was still a bit inconclusive. Since the babies are getting larger, their ribs are becoming more calcified and are difficult to see through. He got a lot of views of the heart, but some were restricted because of Reed's rib shadows. From what the doctor was able to see, there may be a small Perimembraneous Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) in Reed's heart, which is basically a hole in the septum that separates the left and right ventricles (the pumping chambers of the heart), and pushes blood into another chamber where it doesn't belong. He won't be able to confirm it until after the babies are born, at which point he will be able to perform an echocardiogram on Reed directly. The doctor explained that this hole isn't usually an issue while in utero because I, as the mother, do a lot of the work for the babies, but Reed will have to take over on his own after he is born, which is when complications can arise. He assured us that if what he saw is indeed a VSD, it is most likely small and could possibly heal itself within the first year of life. It is not likely a large hole that would require medication or surgery, and it would probably just need to be monitored. So while the findings today weren't completely conclusive, I truly feel a peace that passes all understanding. Throughout the pregnancy, Reed has been growing perfectly and his heart rate has always been so strong, so I am confident that he will be just fine. After he is a day or two old, someone will perform an echo. on him while we are still in the hospital to either confirm or deny the VSD findings and decide what action needs to be taken from there. All Ronnie and I can do at this point is continue to pray over our sons and to trust that they are both in God's hands. We were very encouraged after our appointment today and are hoping for a good, healthy report after Reed is born. Thank you again for all of your prayers. While we are not completely in the clear, I am choosing to believe that his heart will be healed. No matter what happens, to God be all the glory.

On a lighter note, a few days ago we had our 32 week growth-scan (yes, I am already 32 weeks along... crazy). Reed is measuring at 4 lbs, 1 oz and Rory (Baby B) is measuring at 3 lbs, 15 oz. If you are able to do the math, that is 8 lbs of baby inside of me, folks. So to all of the strangers who shout at me, "You look like you're ready to pop!", that's because you're right. I look and feel like I'm ready to pop, but I probably still have another month to go. Wow. I honestly cannot imagine getting any larger, but we are hoping for 5 pound babies to avoid a stay in the NICU, so I guess I still have some growing to do. As I get more and more uncomfortable, I am trying desperately to enjoy this last month of my pregnancy, realizing that it will all be over soon and I will be holding my miracle babies in my arms in no time. I can hardly wait to meet my sons :) And Ronnie... he has such the heart of a servant, waiting on me hand and foot so that I can relax and rest as much as possible. Have I mentioned how amazing he is and how thankful I am to be married to this man? I love him so much as my husband and know that seeing him as a father is just going to take this love-thing to an entirely new level. I am definitely a blessed woman.

-Heather

Celebrations

The last couple of weeks have been wonderful and overwhelming, filled with events that we have been anticipating for months. On Saturday, August 3rd, my dear friends from church threw me a Baby Shower. I can honestly say it was the most beautiful and special shower I have ever attended, and how wonderful that it was my own! My small group friends, Carrie, Lora, Jennifer and Michele truly went above and beyond to ensure that my shower was special and meaningful for me. From the moment I walked in the door, I was hit with a flood of emotions. I have planned and attended so many baby showers in the past, always wondering if I would ever get to have one of my very own, something many women struggling with Infertility can relate to. So when I walked into that house and saw everything decorated to celebrate me and my miracle babies, I almost couldn't believe it was real. Thankfully, my mom and sister, Holly, were able to come out for the shower, and they were just as amazed as I was at how special the event was. The theme was "Little Peanuts," with elephant and peanut accents. My pastor's wife, Melissa, also played a big role in the day, making my beautiful cake and cupcakes and saying a special prayer over the babies. My friend, Cristina, also made a fun dessert and took video of the shower. My growth group friends created a Giada-inspired lunch, which was simply delicious. We had a fun photo booth, arranged by my photographer friend, Cheri, a onesie-making station, baby block decorating and people wrote notes of encouragement. I couldn't believe how many people made it a priority to be at my shower; I wasn't only overwhelmed with gifts (which took me about an hour to open!), but I was amazed at the turnout. I am truly blessed with amazing friends and a wonderful church family. I am so humbled and thankful to all of the ladies who created this celebration for me and my sons, and also thankful for the presence of my mom and sister. It was truly one of the best days of my life. Below are some pictures capturing the joy of the day...

It was wonderful to get to experience the shower with my mom and sister. We had some great family-togetherness time while they were here, going to coffee, folding baby clothes and having special heart-to-heart conversations. Holly also had her husband and children with her, so we turned it into a mini-family vacation. We had fun going to the pool, watching movies and spending a day at Schlitterbahn. It was so great to spend some time with my cute little nephews. Here are some family pictures of the Cleggs... Justin, Holly, Forrest (5) and Hunter (2). 

After some wonderful and much-needed family time, Mom and the Cleggs left town and Ronnie and I prepared for the next set of family to arrive. To celebrate Ronnie's Graduation from his Army-Baylor Physical Therapy Graduate School Program, the Lamberts (Ben, Kelly, Emmaline, Claira, Josiah) and the Millers (Ron, Bertie, Elise) came to visit. What a fun week of family time. We were at the pool almost every day, celebrated Ronnie's accomplishments and got to spend some long-overdue quality time together. We also got to meet our little nephew, Josiah, for the first time. On Thursday, August 15, Ronnie completed 2.5 years of hard work and finally graduated as a Doctor of Physical Therapy. It was a challenging journey along the way, but one that we are both very thankful for. It was a blessing for Ronnie to be accepted into this program and we met some amazing friends that were also a part of this program. It was hard to say good-bye to all of them after graduation, but we know all of their hard work paid off and they are all moving onto their new adventures.  I am so proud of Ronnie for his accomplishments and dedication to his work and so thankful to be his wife. Here are some pictures from his graduation ceremony...

Now that everyone has left town, we are preparing for yet another big adventure. Our twin boys could be arriving any time now, but hopefully not for another month or so. As of this week, I am 31 weeks pregnant and looking every bit of it. I have been dealing with quite a bit of swelling in my feet, legs, hands and even face. One of the latest challenges I am facing is carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists. I am wearing a brace on my right wrist all day and night, and am being fitted for a brace for the left wrist as well. I am a bit discouraged because I have so many thank-you notes to write from my baby shower, but I literally can hardly hold a pen in my hand. We also just purchased a recliner for me to sleep in because my heartburn and the swelling in my feet are both so intense. I am putting myself on modified bedrest during the day because I have been so swollen, uncomfortable and just plain exhausted. There are so many challenges with pregnancy that I never even knew existed, but I am trying to keep high spirits and realize that the end of the pain and discomfort is near. I am trying to keep a positive perspective, knowing that this is only for a season. Also, pregnancy is something I desired for so long, I don't want to complain or wish it all away, especially knowing it may be over soon and I may never experience this amazement again. So I am trying to focus on the things about this third trimester that bring me joy. The babies are getting bigger and bigger, so when they move around inside of my womb, it truly takes my breath away (not just because of the accompanied Braxton Hicks contractions :). It is truly amazing to see my belly ripple as my sons move around inside of me. I know that is something I will miss after this pregnancy is over, so I want to cherish it as much as I can, and hopefully capture it on video one of these days. I love the bonding that this experience has brought to Ronnie and I. To see him marvel at my every-growing body makes me so thankful I have him as my partner. As he prepares to head back to work tomorrow, I want to cherish my time with him as much as I can, knowing that soon we will go from a family of 2 to a family of 4. Wow. Now I'm going to go enjoy the last vacation day with my husband before we head into our new normal. I will update you all again soon, letting you know about dr. appointments and baby growth stats. Until then...

-Heather