"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." -Psalm 9:1-2
-Heather
Friday, June 21, 2013
Worshiping in the Harvest
While Ronnie and I were stationed at Holloman Air Force Base in New Mexico, we had the privilege of attending First Assembly Worship Center in Alamogordo. We loved being a part of that church family and made some great relationships. Ronnie and I began "trying" to have a baby while we were there, but left 3 years later in the midst of our journey through Infertility. Many people from the church supported us and prayed for us during our painful struggle and it felt disheartening to have to leave without having received healing from the Lord. However, I received some encouraging words from Kathy, our Pastor's wife, that I have held onto firmly. She told me that she had a vision of me, leading worship and singing up on stage, pregnant. She went on to say that I was going to be a witness to others of God's miracle in my life. When people saw me, they would be encouraged and reminded that we serve a God that still performs miracles. Her vision was then confirmed by Melissa, my current Pastor's wife, who had been praying that same prayer for me since she learned of my Infertility. During my 5 and a half years of barrenness, I continued to lead worship with our former and current church's worship teams, choosing to Praise God in my desert place. But I still prayed for healing and trusted that God had given that vision to both of my Pastors' wives for a reason. So, when Ronnie and I finally became pregnant 5 and half months ago, I couldn't wait for the day when I was finally "showing" enough to stand up on stage, worship my Lord, and visually proclaim the miracle he had done in my life. My sweet and talented friend, Cheri, captured this image of me a couple of Sundays ago during one of our worship services. I believe this is the vision I have been holding onto for all of these years...
"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." -Psalm 9:1-2
-Heather
"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." -Psalm 9:1-2
-Heather
Thursday, June 6, 2013
It's a BOYS!
I am so excited to be having 2 little boys... my sons:) I am so incredibly happy, I can hardly contain myself. When Ronnie and I were in the ultrasound room, patiently waiting for the tech. to confirm their manhood, it was a feeling of anticipation I've only ever felt when I was waiting to get my pregnancy results from my fertility doctor. But once she confirmed that they were indeed boys, we laughed, cried, kissed and soaked in that moment as much as we could. We left that appointment on cloud nine, staring at their little sonogram pictures, wondering what life would bring us with 2 little sons. I know I keep saying this, but I cannot reiterate enough how thankful I am to be experiencing all of this with Ronnie. He has really been so amazing and supportive and I praise God every day that I get to not only share this life with him, but now have children with him. Wow. God, you are just so good.
Ronnie and I have had fun discussing names, personalities and possible futuristic scenarios that will involve our boys. We have been calling them Alpha and Bravo up until now, which may continue, but now we are able to think of them with possibly names, which is beginning to make this situation that much more "real." Right now we think that their names are going to be Reed and Rory, but I know we have a few months to finalize it. Before we found out their genders, Ronnie had insisted that when we move to Alaska, the babies' nicknames would be "Grizz" and "Moose"no matter what, so praise the Lord that they are boys, otherwise our little girls may grow up with an identity complex... Ronnie also enjoys changing their nicknames from time to time, depending on the day or scenario. My new nickname has recently become "Belly." He has been rubbing and kissing my belly and talking to the boys. That alone brings my heart so much joy; it's enough to make me tear up every time.
I know that the average married couple is pretty excited to be expecting, but I believe couples with a history of Infertility or miscarriage have a joy and excitement about their pregnancies that is hard to compare with anything else. Many of us believe that we will never get to experience a pregnancy, so if and when we do, we are witnessing a true miracle taking place in our own lives. I think often of my friends who are still in their season of "waiting"... friends who so desperately want to experience the joy of pregnancy, childbirth and having biological children. My heart continues to ache for them and I pray that God would heal all of them and bring them the desires of their hearts. However, I know that just as in our situation, God is doing a work bigger than we can possibly imagine, even if that means withholding something from us for an appointed time, all for a greater purpose. To those friends, if you are reading this, please know that I have not forgotten you, and the Lord has not forsaken you. We continue to grieve with you and pray for you as you patiently wait for your miracle...
Because this pregnancy has been a miracle in itself, and because we are having Twins, which seems to make everyone extra-excited, we wanted to celebrate by having a Gender Reveal Party. We invited all of our friends and church family in the local area over to our home to share the good news in person. Our decorations were all pink and blue (to keep everyone guessing:) and we had a tally sheet where people wrote down their predictions, whether it be 2 boys, 2 girls or 1 of each. Most people guessed it would be one boy and one girl, which is what almost every friend and family member seemed to think as well. People hung out, talked and mingled for a while. Then we took everyone out into the back yard and we shared the news by releasing 2 sets of blue balloons, for both babies A & B. There was a lot of cheering, clapping and congratulations, and we are so happy to have shared that moment with the very people who have been supporting us and praying us through the most difficult season of our married life. I am so thankful for these people and could not have been happier to celebrate with them. Below, are some pictures to share especially for those of you who read our blog but are not on Facebook, where these pictures have already been revealed. So here they are... enjoy!
The running joke in our family is that we can only produce boys. Between my sister and all of our cousins (who are mainly women), they have brought 12 little boys into our family, and only 1 girl. So our entire extended family was certain that one of my babies would be the saving grace and and that we would add at least one more girl to the family. But as chance (or God) would have it, it was decided that we needed 2 more little boys to add to the brood. This brought shock and laughter, but also great joy, to our family members when we personally called them to deliver the great news. Regardless of whether they are boys or girls, we know that these babies are a blessing and a miracle, and our family could not be more thankful for them.
As I close, I want to refer to a song that I sang many times in my season of waiting, or my "desert place," as I chose to call it. The song is called "Desert Song" by Hillsong United and it was incredibly close to my heart as I struggled with being in a very lonely, deserted place while enduring the battle of Infertility. The bridge says, "All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship." I held onto that verse as I tried to commit my life to serving God, choosing to sing and worship Him, even when it felt too painful. At times I honestly felt that I would never get to the place in life that the final verse speaks about when it says, "This is my prayer in the harvest, where favor and providence flow. I know I'm filled to be emptied again; this seed I've received I will sow." I believe that I'm finally out of my desert place and experiencing a time of harvest. I know it will not last forever, and life will continue to throw many things our way in the future. But we serve a God who is always good, and for now I just want to praise Him for his favor and for his abundant blessings in this season of our lives. Lord, thank you so much for our sons.
"The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest."
-Psalm 85:12
-Heather
Ronnie and I have had fun discussing names, personalities and possible futuristic scenarios that will involve our boys. We have been calling them Alpha and Bravo up until now, which may continue, but now we are able to think of them with possibly names, which is beginning to make this situation that much more "real." Right now we think that their names are going to be Reed and Rory, but I know we have a few months to finalize it. Before we found out their genders, Ronnie had insisted that when we move to Alaska, the babies' nicknames would be "Grizz" and "Moose"no matter what, so praise the Lord that they are boys, otherwise our little girls may grow up with an identity complex... Ronnie also enjoys changing their nicknames from time to time, depending on the day or scenario. My new nickname has recently become "Belly." He has been rubbing and kissing my belly and talking to the boys. That alone brings my heart so much joy; it's enough to make me tear up every time.
I know that the average married couple is pretty excited to be expecting, but I believe couples with a history of Infertility or miscarriage have a joy and excitement about their pregnancies that is hard to compare with anything else. Many of us believe that we will never get to experience a pregnancy, so if and when we do, we are witnessing a true miracle taking place in our own lives. I think often of my friends who are still in their season of "waiting"... friends who so desperately want to experience the joy of pregnancy, childbirth and having biological children. My heart continues to ache for them and I pray that God would heal all of them and bring them the desires of their hearts. However, I know that just as in our situation, God is doing a work bigger than we can possibly imagine, even if that means withholding something from us for an appointed time, all for a greater purpose. To those friends, if you are reading this, please know that I have not forgotten you, and the Lord has not forsaken you. We continue to grieve with you and pray for you as you patiently wait for your miracle...
Because this pregnancy has been a miracle in itself, and because we are having Twins, which seems to make everyone extra-excited, we wanted to celebrate by having a Gender Reveal Party. We invited all of our friends and church family in the local area over to our home to share the good news in person. Our decorations were all pink and blue (to keep everyone guessing:) and we had a tally sheet where people wrote down their predictions, whether it be 2 boys, 2 girls or 1 of each. Most people guessed it would be one boy and one girl, which is what almost every friend and family member seemed to think as well. People hung out, talked and mingled for a while. Then we took everyone out into the back yard and we shared the news by releasing 2 sets of blue balloons, for both babies A & B. There was a lot of cheering, clapping and congratulations, and we are so happy to have shared that moment with the very people who have been supporting us and praying us through the most difficult season of our married life. I am so thankful for these people and could not have been happier to celebrate with them. Below, are some pictures to share especially for those of you who read our blog but are not on Facebook, where these pictures have already been revealed. So here they are... enjoy!
The running joke in our family is that we can only produce boys. Between my sister and all of our cousins (who are mainly women), they have brought 12 little boys into our family, and only 1 girl. So our entire extended family was certain that one of my babies would be the saving grace and and that we would add at least one more girl to the family. But as chance (or God) would have it, it was decided that we needed 2 more little boys to add to the brood. This brought shock and laughter, but also great joy, to our family members when we personally called them to deliver the great news. Regardless of whether they are boys or girls, we know that these babies are a blessing and a miracle, and our family could not be more thankful for them.
As I close, I want to refer to a song that I sang many times in my season of waiting, or my "desert place," as I chose to call it. The song is called "Desert Song" by Hillsong United and it was incredibly close to my heart as I struggled with being in a very lonely, deserted place while enduring the battle of Infertility. The bridge says, "All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship." I held onto that verse as I tried to commit my life to serving God, choosing to sing and worship Him, even when it felt too painful. At times I honestly felt that I would never get to the place in life that the final verse speaks about when it says, "This is my prayer in the harvest, where favor and providence flow. I know I'm filled to be emptied again; this seed I've received I will sow." I believe that I'm finally out of my desert place and experiencing a time of harvest. I know it will not last forever, and life will continue to throw many things our way in the future. But we serve a God who is always good, and for now I just want to praise Him for his favor and for his abundant blessings in this season of our lives. Lord, thank you so much for our sons.
"The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest."
-Psalm 85:12
-Heather
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