The Home Study

Home Study? Check! It's actually been about 3 weeks since we had our Home Study, but I somehow didn't prioritize a blog post about this extremely important step to becoming Licensed Foster-Adoptive Parents! For those of you who have gone through this, you know what a relief it is to have it finally put behind you. For those of you who are still awaiting your Home Study, I want to encourage you and let you know that it's not nearly as scary as it seems! I was so incredibly nervous before our Case Manager came to our house. Ronnie will tell you that I was less than enjoyable as I ran around the house checking and re-checking every insignificant corner of the house to make sure that it was spotless. I wanted our home to look welcoming and cozy, but not sterile. I also wanted it to look obviously lived-in, but not messy. I was an uptight mess and I am so thankful to have a patient husband who puts up with my compulsive OCD behavior at times. Here is the story of our Study.

Our Case Manager arrived and I nervously welcomed him in to our house. We had met him a few times in the past at our agency's functions, so I was thankful that he was a familiar face. He instantly put us at ease and explained the process of how the Home Study was going to go. We all poured ourselves some coffee and got ready for what we knew was going to be quite the evening. First he sat down with me and interviewed me one-on-one for about an hour and 15 minutes. This usually goes faster, but I can be a talker, so I'm sure I gave way more information than I actually needed to. Ronnie's personal interview followed and was a shorter 45 minutes, which I expected. Next he spoke with both of us and gave us each an opportunity to answer questions pertaining to our marriage and how we handle various situations. I will tell you that all of the questions the Case Manager asks go very deep and get very personal. While some of them are hard to discuss at times, I know that they are necessary so that the agency can really get to know their Foster Families and paint a very clear picture of each individual person, including what roles their pasts have played in helping them become who they are today. The C.M. also gave us some great resources that other Foster Families use, depending on the issues they may be faced with when receiving Foster Children in their home. He made the question/answer process go very smoothly and we were thankful for a positive experience.

After the intense interview process, we gave our Case Manager a tour of the house. He looked for various details, such as outlet covers, a weapons safe, and fire escape plans posted in each room. He also compared each room with the copy of our home floor plan that we had provided the agency with ahead of time. He assured us that we had taken all of the right steps to prepare our home for children, including have the kids' bedrooms set up and ready. At one point, he commented that our home looked "immaculate," and I was so thankful that he was happy with what he saw and thankful for what God has blessed us with so that we can in turn bless His children. Our C.M. also thought it was humorous that so many families take so much time to clean their house so intensely before his arrival. He said that while the home should be clean, he's looking for so many other things aside from dust and dirt. He's ensuring that the home environment is ready to bring children into so that they have a safe place to heal and belong, whether the carpets are vacuumed or not. I suddenly felt ridiculous for previously ensuring that the hand towel looked perfect hanging in the guest bathroom. His comments really put me in my place as I thought about what else I could do in our home to prepare... not just to ensure that it's clean, but that it's ready to be a hospital for children's hearts. What a reality check.

Next our Case Manager needed to observe us doing an activity together, so we chose to cook dinner. We tried to act naturally as someone sat and watched our every move, watched how we spoke to each other, interacted with each other, and helped each other with a common task. Of course, we were on our best behavior and made sure that we were treating each other with respect, but also quietly laughing, realizing how ridiculous it felt to have someone watch us make dinner. After the dinner was done, we sat down and asked our C.M. some questions about what to expect after the Home Study. Those questions turned into an additional 45 minutes (again, I'm a talker...), so by the time we got to our Spaghetti dinner, it was cold and mushy, not to mention unappetizing because of some new soy-based noodles we were using that turned out to be disgusting. From start to finish, our Home Study lasted about 5 hours. I know. We said good-bye to the C.M., took a deep breath, and hugged each other out of pure relief. Our Home Study was done. The one thing we were nervously anticipating was over, and we were one step closer to becoming parents. Wow.

Since then the Home Study has been typed up, we have 2 more documents to turn into our agency, and we should be licensed within the next couple of weeks! I'll send out an update once we find out we are licensed, then we should be getting kiddos soon after. Unfortunately, there is a great need in this area, as they receive multiple calls a day for Foster placements in San Antonio. Now we are just praying for those children who are enduring abuse or neglect at this very moment and will be placed in our home in a matter of weeks. Lord, place your loving hand of protection over these children. Prepare our home and our hearts for their hurting souls so that we can give them a place to heal and experience the miracle of Your unfailing love. Amen.

-Heather