Friday, May 27, 2011

Finally a Foster Family

For all of those who wondered, yes, we're still alive. Alive and well:) Shortly after my last post (over a month ago now... sorry...), we received a possible placement call for a sibling group of 2 and we said, "YES!" We weren't given very much information about the kids because it was an emergency placement. We had their ages and only knew 1 of their names. We were also told the reason they were being removed from their home and the rest of the details weren't available. We just trusted in our instincts and knew that if they were meant to be with us, they would be. After 5 hours of hearing nothing back, we figured we didn't get the placement and went along with our day, which included picking up my parents at the airport who were coming to visit over Easter weekend. After they arrived and we were pulling out of the airport parking lot, my phone rang and our Case Manager said, "Hey! You got the kids! We're doing placement tonight!" My mind went fuzzy and my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't believe my ears. I gave Ronnie and my parents a quick briefing on what was about to happen and realized that this was about to be a very life-changing day. Right after we got home from the airport my phone rang again. Our Case Manager informed us that they were on their way over with the kiddos as we spoke. They would be there in less than 30 minutes. WHAT?!?! I hadn't even given my mom a tour of the house and here we were expecting little kiddos to grace our presence any minute. We all prepared for the kids as best as we could. I put on a movie, prepared some snacks, and got out some stuffed animals that I had saved for our future kiddos. The rest of the day was a blur. It all happened so quickly that I can't remember every detail. I know that our little girl arrived first. She is 1 year old and absolutely beautiful. I got teary eyed the first time I laid eyes on her as they pulled her out of the car. She was breathtaking. At first she was really nervous and shy (understandably so) and it took her a little while to warm up to us. Our little boy arrived about 15 minutes later and instantly ran in to hug his sister. He was so glad to see her and I could see relief in his eyes knowing that she was here with him, safe and sound. This little guy is 4 years old and such a cutie pie. He was also pretty nervous for a while, but he quickly began feeling out his surroundings and discovering what he could play with. One of the kid's Case Workers played with the kids while Ronnie and I filled out paperwork. Over an hour went by and we were still signing documentation. It was crazy how much paper we shuffled that afternoon. My parents stayed out in the backyard with the dogs and just read for a while so that we could deal with everything going on inside. After we were done and everyone had gone, there we were. A Foster Family. Finally:) We sat down with the kiddos and explained to them that their mom wasn't able to take care of them for a little while, and during that time they were going to stay with us. Our little guy had a lot of questions and we tried to answer them as best as we could, but there is only so much you can say to a scared and confused 4 year old to help him understand. We just had to hope and trust that he would begin to adjust over time.

Having my parents here was actually the best possible scenario. At first I was disappointed that we weren't going to have any alone time with them, but God knew exactly what He was doing. I truly don't know what we would have done without Mom and Jay here when the kids arrived. They were so incredibly helpful and they had the opportunity to bond with the children during their stay. Another reminder that God's timing truly is perfect:) While Ronnie took the kids to the park for some play time, my parents and I went to Target for a last-minute shopping spree. $600 later we left with everything we thought we needed to survive at least a week with the kids. I know that sounds like a lot of money, but we did have a lot of gift cards from friends and family, plus Mom & Jay pitched in as well. It surprised me to see how much I actually needed to get for the kids. We thought we had the house prepared, but there was so much more that we actually needed. Diapers, wipes, shirts, pants, shorts, sweatshirts, dresses, pajamas, underwear, socks, shoes, Easter basket stuff, toys, food, and the list goes on and on. We had received some hand-me-downs from friends ahead of time, but unfortunately none of the sizes were what we needed for our new foster kiddos. We came home with a lot of bags and some Chick-fil-A for dinner (can I just give a little shout-out and say how much I LOVE Chick-fil-A?!) We fed some hungry kids, did bath-time, story-time, prayer-time, and bed-time. The first night with the kids actually went pretty well, surprisingly. They were still pretty nervous and didn't know why they were staying in this strange house, but they had a great night of sleep. Our little girl woke up crying a couple of times, but our little guy was so worn out that we had to actually wake him up at 10:00 the next morning because he was still sleeping. Now I know that he actually likes to wake up by 7:30, but he had a lot to sleep off those first few nights.

Easter weekend was a whirlwind. We went out to dinner (BIG mistake after just 1 day with new foster kids), did an Easter-Egg hunt, went to church, had a BBQ, went to the park, watched movies, played games, and just had some great bonding time as a family. The kids also got really attached to Mom and Jay, so it was another big transition when they had to leave the day after Easter.Luckily now the kiddos know who they are and our little guy talks about them whenever he sees them in picture frames; he even lovingly calls them "Gramma Pamma" and "Papa Jay Jay." I'm so thankful for my family and how supportive and loving they have all been throughout this process.

I truly believe that no matter how much you prepare or how "ready" you might be to have kids, nothing, I repeat NOTHING, can prepare you for that dose of reality. We have had many ups and downs as a new Foster Family and it has been 100 times more challenging than I ever would have expected. This is not to worry or scare anyone who might be looking into Foster Care themselves... there definitely are rewards during this journey, but usually not without some heartache along the way. We have now had our kiddos for a little over a month and are finally settling into a routine. Ronnie and I try to stay really consistent with the kids, and we want to give them a positive image of what a strong, loving family should look like. We are starting to see some small improvements as we continue to face major challenges. Our little girl is absolutely precious and she already feels like "ours." Our little guy has good and bad days, but he struggles with some pretty extreme behavioral and emotional issues, which we will be working through for quite a while. But we love him and are committed to see this through to the end, by the Grace of God, whether it be reunification or adoption. I really don't know how non-Christians navigate their way through Foster Care without a relationship with the Lord. It is only by His strength that we are able to get through these challenges each day and I praise God that His mercies are new every morning.

Tonight I am not going to go into great detail about what the past month has looked like. Sleep can be a little difficult to come by in this house recently, so I need to make my way up to bed shortly. I really just wanted to give you all an update on where we've been and where we are. I'm sorry for keeping you all in the dark until now; what a bad blogger I've been. I'm sure many of you parents can relate to the busyness that overcomes you once your day is centered around children. It's difficult to find time just to check my email much less type out an entire blog post. But I will do my best to try and do an update at least every two weeks to fill you all in on the new adventures of the Miller Foster Family. Thank you all for your support and prayers. Please keep them coming... we need them now more than ever!

-Heather

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the update, Heather! You've been on my heart lately. Glad to know you guys and the kids are settling in. Never a dull moment, huh? :)

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  2. This brought tears to my eyes. I hear the voice of a loving, caring, faithful mother. What a blessing you are to those kids, and what an amazing blessing they are to you! I'm sure it is difficult, especially the unknown, but you are part of a beautiful journey. Love you lots. So glad God is using you in this way.

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