Ronnie and I had the opportunity to sit in on one of these hearings to witness the process and be there as a representative of our children. It was important to us to meet all of the people that are working behind the scenes in this case and we were thankful that the Case Manager allowed us to be there. I was emotional throughout the entire hearing, beginning with the fact that the kids' mother didn't show up until 40 minutes into the meeting and one of the biological fathers didn't show up at all. What brought me to tears was hearing some of the background info. about mom, to include other children, a history of crime and other unfortunate choices that she has made, all to the detriment of the two children living in my home. At that moment, I was brokenhearted as I imagined what these kids have experienced and I couldn't comprehend ever having to send them back to that kind of situation. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. Ronnie and I luckily had the opportunity to speak on the kids' behalf and let everyone know how well they were doing. That was a proud moment for us as we bragged about how far these kids had come and how many achievements they've made. But we were also very honest about the things that they were struggling with, mainly because of the trauma they have experienced in their short lives.
After we were done giving an update on the kiddos, we listened as the Case Manager revealed what the permanency plan was going to be for the case. The state decided to recommend a dual-track system, which means they are considering both Reunification (kids being reunified with mom or other either dad) and Termination (all parents' rights being terminated) simultaneously. So, even though these parents have had almost 2 years to get their act together and comply with the state, they are now getting another 4 months to complete their checklists and come into full compliance. I have mixed feelings about this plan, mainly because I think it sends the wrong message to everyone involved and it seems that no one is firm enough to put their foot down. At this point in the case, I believe that the end result should be focused one way or the other, with a strong verdict. These parents must realize that they need to either poop or get off the pot. If you want your children back, do something about it! If you don't really care either way, allow these kids the freedom to become a part of a functional family. I really do believe that all parents involved truly love their children. I also believe that some of the choices they continue to make reveal the backward state of their priorities in life. We will find out what the final permanency plan is at a court hearing toward the end of May. At that time we will know whether we will be preparing these kids for reunification or if we begin the process of termination and (possibly) adoption. At this point, anything is possible.
As always, thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement. If there is anything that Ronnie and I have learned through this process, it is that we've just gotten started on this roller coaster that is foster care. We thought it was difficult up to this point, but now we're facing a new world of challenges. We also experience moments of joy as we watch these little ones grow into the beautiful children that God created them to be. But we've got a long way to go. The foster care system still continues to be broken. There is still a ridiculous amount of children needing homes. We still have room. So for now we have surrendered ourselves, if only to live in His will. His good, pleasing and perfect will.
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